Time Is the Hardest Part: Living with ADHD When Every Hour Feels Like a Battle

Time is the thing that unravels me most.

I’ve always had a complicated relationship with it—schedules upset me, clocks stress me out, and the whole idea of managing time often feels impossible. With ADHD, it’s not just about being “bad at time management”—it’s like time becomes this slippery, chaotic force I can’t quite grasp.

Part of it is **hyperfocus**. When something catches my attention—painting, writing, learning violin—I *need* to stay in it. Pulling myself away feels painful. Like being ripped out of a dream. I can sit for hours working on a creative project, forgetting to eat, stretch, or move. But then, on the flip side, the rest of my life—the dishes, the errands, the thousand tiny tasks—sits waiting in a pile that never shrinks.

It’s not that I don’t *want* to do things. It’s that there are **too many things I want to do**.  
I’ve had to intentionally narrow down my interests just to survive. Even then, I’m constantly juggling. For example, right now:   

• I’m learning violin.  
• I’m running my art business.  
• I’m painting.  
• I’m looking for a part-time job (because, yes, money is a thing). 
• I’m managing the home.  
• I'm managing a new blog...
• And I have a community garden I barely get to visit anymore.

I’ve had to start letting things go—not because they don’t matter, but because there’s just not enough time in the day. And when I can’t choose what to focus on, I freeze. I shut down. It’s like my system short-circuits from decision overload.

Even socializing has become hard for me. I love people, but I rarely make plans anymore. Most of my friends are very social—that’s their thing. But for me? I crave time alone with the things that matter deeply to me: color, sound, nature. I need that space for my nervous system to regulate. To feel alive. To feel safe.

And yet—I rarely have time to do “nothing.”  
I rarely even feel permission to slow down.  
There’s a constant pressure, this **invisible monkey on my back**, reminding me of all the things I “should” be doing. It’s not quiet. It’s relentless.

Take right now, for example.  
I was supposed to be finishing chores—cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming the living room, running to the store. Instead, I squirreled out and started writing this blog post (because it’s way more fun than chores). Now the kitchen is only half-clean, the vacuum is leaning dramatically against the couch like it gave up, and I’m definitely not at the store.  
This is classic ADHD time management: a thousand tabs open in my brain, every one of them blinking for attention.

So I’ve started experimenting with tools that might help.  

I bought clear dry-erase boards and put them on the fridge—one for daily home life, one for my business, Splinter & Bloom. Behind each clear board, I slide in a printed to-do checklist. This way, I can just **wipe off** the tasks each day without rewriting the same list over and over.  
Why the fridge? Because I *have* to go there. And seeing the lists helps orient me.  
Not because I’ll check off every item perfectly—but because it gives me a place to start.

I’ve tried fancy planners, but honestly? I just end up decorating them with stickers and then forgetting about them. They overwhelm me.  
So now, I keep it **simple**. Really simple.  
Standardized checklists. Fewer goals. Less pressure.

But the truth is, I’m still figuring it out.

Time still hurts sometimes. It reminds me of being a kid—feeling lost, shut down, and unsupported. I didn’t have the tools or the guidance I needed. My mom made sure I was fed and clothed, but she didn’t really see me. She didn’t know how much I was struggling or how loud the chaos inside my brain could get.

Now, as an adult with an ADHD diagnosis, I finally have a name for it.  
And it explains so much:  
Why I struggled with structure, why I was always chasing something new, why language itself felt slippery even though I loved words. Why the world sometimes moved faster than I could catch up with.

I’m learning how to work with the brain I have, not against it.  
And I’m sharing this because I know I’m not alone.

If you feel like you’re always running out of time, or drowning in too many passions, or never quite catching your breath—I see you.

We may not have it all figured out, but we’re learning.  
One messy day at a time.

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### 🧠 Quick Takeaways for Managing Time with ADHD

**1. Keep It Visible**  
Use clear dry-erase boards or stick reminders in high-traffic zones like your fridge. Seeing your priorities helps bring time into focus.

**2. Standardize the Repetitive Stuff**  
Print out your daily to-do’s and place them behind your dry-erase board. That way, you can reuse the same list without rewriting everything every day—just check it off, wipe it clean, and reset.

**3. Choose Less to Do More**  
Pick just *three main tasks* for the day: one big, one small, one for maintenance. Let that be enough. Anything else is extra.

And maybe the most important part?  
Be patient with yourself when your best efforts don’t work out.  
Even with all the tools and lists and intentions, you’ll still find yourself squirreling out sometimes—vacuum halfway done, blog half-written, errands forgotten.  

That doesn’t mean you failed.  
It means you’re human. And you’re learning.  
One beautifully chaotic day at a time.

xoxo